Riley just turned three years old a few weeks ago and I still can’t believe my baby is growing up. My husband and I are enjoying life with just the three of us. We haven’t even really thought about having another child right now.
That doesn’t mean that we don’t get the question “when are you guys going to have another one”? I can say that we literally get this question quite too often than we would like to. Every time we are asked I just say “not right now”. But, I am dying inside wondering why people always ask this question. I think it is kind of rude to ask to be honest. What I really want to know is why are you even asking me, and also what is your interest in knowing?
When a person asks this question you have no idea what the couple may be going through or what their situation is. It is kind of a personal question, and people should really think before asking a couple. Simply don’t ask AT ALL if you ask me! Of course, we may want to expand our family, but quite frankly it is none of your business.
Consider some of these points before you ask:
- What if we don’t want another child? To be honest we didn’t even plan on having Riley it just kind of happened. We did always talk about having a child but she was not planned at all. I love her and I am blessed and grateful to have her and we want to give all of our time and attention to her right now. Ever stop to think that maybe we are okay with just being a family of three?
- What if we are trying and we haven’t been successful? This is not our case but I do know people that have tried or lost babies in the past year. It is very stressful and the question is really rude considering you never know what the woman may be going through. If you were to ask me and I suffered a miscarriage or lost a baby it may hit a soft spot. So people should be mindful when asking this question. Planning to have a baby can be challenging and just because it easily happened one time, doesn’t mean it happens that way all the time.
- What we have other things going on in our lives? I recently took on a new career and my husband just started his real estate business. Ever thought that we may be trying to save money, pay off debt, or move in a bigger house? Don’t get me wrong I love my daughter, but children are expensive. We are doing fine right now without any added responsibilities or payments. The truth is we are trying to get our finances in order to be debt free, own properties, and travel the world. So we are not even thinking about adding another person into the mix right now. Just being honest.
This is a topic that couples may not want to discuss. I know that you may mean well, but it can be intrusive for you to ask this during a conversation. It doesn’t make me feel good when I am asked this question. I just smile and nod, but on the inside, I am dying! Please don’t ask when we are having another child. It is none of your business!
For me, I know that it doesn’t make me feel good when I am asked this question I simply just smile and nod. On the inside, I am really dying when you ask! Please don’t ask when we are having another child. It is none of your business!
Signed a happy mother of 1 child 🙂